Washington Wizard’s John Wall Needs a Housewife

John Wall (left) last year at a D.C. nightclub. He was only 20-years-old.

John Wall, 20, is one of the newest players for the Washington Wizard franchise. And since his mom and sisters are in Raleigh, North Carolina, the young basketball star probably needs a housewife (okay, I’m joking)…or at least a chef! In a recent profile of Wall in the WaPo, we find out Wall can easily make a jumper but he can’t make chocolate chip cookies:

John Wall and his friend Ty Williams studied the instructions on the back of the package, but they didn’t trust them. Ten minutes couldn’t be enough time to bake a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies, they thought; it has to be at least 20 or 25. So, they plopped them into the oven, went back to playing video games and waited.

Eventually, the odor from the kitchen became overwhelming and when they opened the oven door, a collection of crispy, black, inedible mounds awaited them. Wall didn’t need it, but he got official confirmation: He cannot cook.

But ladies, if you think you can woo Wall with your momma’s recipes and grandmomma’s crock pot…you probably can! Still, his mom drives up from Raleigh twice a month to cook, clean and do his laundry. So if you’re looking to become wifey you probably want to handle that too.

Until he finds that special someone, I guess Wall is left to eat Doritos, Funyuns, Honey Buns and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yuck.

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